Shattered
by Ash to Dust
Summary: I knew it would be hard to be married to a spy whose life was on the line everyday. Katerina North thought her life would be normal until she found out why her father had died.


Spooks Fic. Post Series 7.

Katerina North should have had a better childhood and it was my fault. I knew what Lucas did; I knew that he might never come back. He was in a dangerous job. He'd said it himself but he didn't tell her because he didn't want to put her at risk. Quite right too, I wouldn't want anyone to kidnap our little girl. I knew it would be hard to be married to a spy whose life was on the line everyday but I didn't imagine that it would be this hard. But that doesn't matter now because it's not going to happen.

Katerina was five years old when he died, Ros his only company, stuck in an unknown location surrounded by terrorists. He died protecting her. It had hurt me to think he would so willingly give up his life for her. But then again she protected Katie and me, who was I to complain? I won't tell Katerina that part, at least let her think that Daddy had died saving England from the bad people. At first it didn't matter because Katerina hadn't understood what it meant to die. However slowly but surely, being the clever girl she was, she began to comprehend what had happened.

_Daddy's gone to heaven sweetheart._

_Will he come back to me mummy?_

_No Katie, I'm sorry but he can't._

She'd run to her bedroom and cried herself to sleep. I knew that she would be upset, probably more than me. Her daddy had meant the world to her. For the next few days she refused to speak and when she did it was in Russian, like her daddy had taught her. I let my daughter take a week off school to get over it.

His funeral was small but very well attended. His co-workers had all come to say goodbye, and his boss had come too. His friends, his Russian ex-wife and his family had come too. The small church was full to the brim and everyone felt the loss. After that Katie seemed to move on. She slowly became her normal self and began to drag friends round the stay. I felt so relieved then.

It wasn't brought up again until we saw the news three years later. There had been four attacks on major cities by terrorists and neither of us felt save enough to leave home the next day, thankfully it was a Saturday. Katie looked from the T.V. to the pictures on the wall. She looked at the only person who had ever made her feel safe. I knew it was coming but nothing could have prepared me for it.

_I miss daddy._

_So do I Katie._

On her eleventh birthday I got the biggest shock of my life. She was writing in her diary whilst watching T.V. and I couldn't help a quick glance over her shoulder. My heart nearly stopped. For a moment I wondered how she knew. She was clever, but surely not that clever? She had only written one sentence.

_My daddy was a spy._

Maybe she'd take after him? I didn't know. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to lose all I had left of Lucas, because even I didn't want to admit it, she was just like him. She had moved to a different school and by then it was almost forgotten. She had new friends and she was doing well, top at everything basically. Then she found out one of her teachers could speak Russian.

_Dum Spiro Spero_

Three little words and she was a fourteen-year-old on a mission. Within days she had built up a decent description of Lucas's job, his missions, where he had been and what he had done. I could do only one thing and for the first time in nine years I called Harry Pearce. He came over personally and explained everything.

_I know what I want to be when I grow up mum._

_What?_

_A spy, like dad was._

I could do nothing to stop her. She graduated and soon had a solid job working as a technical operator and MI5, Section D. Many of them weren't sure whether to accept her; she was Lucas's daughter and a few still grieved over his death.

_Katie, we need you to go to Russia._

Harry had commanded and Katie had gone. For two months I heard nothing from her and then she turned up on my doorstep out of the blue. I cried for hours, glad that she was home and safe. She knew why, I could see it in her eyes.

_I met Elizabeta._

Elizabeta hadn't known what had happened. Two weeks later she moved to London and joined the Security Services as an asset. Katie was promoted after the Russian operation to Junior Case Officer. She was so proud; she was going to do the same job as her dad had.

_We lost Jo today._

I saw the sorrow in her eyes as she said that. She seemed to have convinced herself that she could have saved her. Harry gave her two weeks off to get over the shock. But she went back a week early, even more determined. Three days after that she caught the terrorists who had killed her friend and Harry resigned. She was promoted again to Senior Case Officer.

_Katerina North will go down in History._

She became the biggest spy catcher of the decade with a total of seventy-six successful missions and over two hundred in jail. She was now Section Chief and had her own team. I only knew one of the people there now and that was Ros, always watching over Katie to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. Undoubtedly one day she would.

_I'm sorry Mrs. North._

They didn't have to say anything more. I knew she had gone to see her father in heaven and they couldn't do anything about it. It had been quick they promised and she had managed to give them a message.

_I've made daddy proud mum._

It was all that mattered to her. She didn't care about the success and the military honours she was buried with all she cared about was the fact that she had seen her father and that he was proud of her. Her team carried on without her but it was never quite the same.

So the time came for me to greet my family in heaven. I longed to see them both again and when I did nothing could have made me happier. He didn't look a day older and neither did she. He had seen his daughter grown up and he loved her even more for it. Together we walked and discussed everything that had happened to us. It didn't matter to me what had happened in the past, all I needed was four little words.

_I love you Lucas._


End file.
